essay 3 example 2

Tourism and it's effects on the environment and the local buisness

The amount of people who travel gets higher and higher and there are several different things which were affected by the tourism. In my following essay I'd like to explain the traveller's influence on the nature in tourist villages and on the local buisness there.

On one hand the tourism is totally disturbing for the environment because the wonderful green parts of a tourist village, or maybe of a growing tourist village, were replaced by gigantic hotel complexes, golf courses and other tourist attractions. It's not only the plants by itselfes which disappear but also the animals. They go away because their habitat isn't the same. There is noise and pollution everywhere and they can't hide anymore. Another negativ point is the sea pollution like for example in Mallorca. An enormous part of the hotel's pollution gets into the sea. But on other hand it's not a good idea to change the form of tourism to a less violent one bacause then there were just new areas, which were still natural, now disturbed.

Not only the envornment but also the local buisness is affected by the tourism. The shop - or restaurant owners in tourist villages only depend on their incoms out of the souveniers they sell to tourists. It's impossible for them to survive without the travellers. Maybe it isn't the best wayto be such dependant but at the moment it is the most earning one.

In my opinion the environment is more affected by the tourism than the local stores, shops, hotels and restaurants because I think the nature at such used places gets disturbed and not only affected. You can't remake the nature like it was before the tourism has arrived whereas the people can search other incomes beside the tourists.

Content: 5 

Communicative Achievement: 3

Organisation: 3

Language: 2

Examiner comment: You have discussed the question and covered all aspects in an appropriately formal tone, You have given opinions and supported these with examples to give more credibility to your answer. The essay is well structured and you have connected your ideas by using a range of suitable cohesive devices to show the relationships between the ideas you have presented.

There are some slips when it comes to using some more complex structures sojust be careful to read your work through and try to correct as many of these mistakes as you can.